Optimism Archives

If You Want To Get Closer To Someone

If You Want To Get Closer To Someone

It you want to get closer to someone then Travel.

I am not referring to hopping on a plane and flying thousands of miles to get closer to someone you care about.

I am referring to the person that may be lying next to you, in the next room or down the road that seems to be drifting away from you or you would like to know better, but things just do not seem to click.

I doubt there exist anyone, worldwide, that does not desire to be close to someone, to feel a touch, or just to relate at a deeper level.

If you find you are having trouble getting close to someone or building those valuable relationships in love or business consider the following tool to help bring things back to life.

T is for TRUST: Trust is the superglue that holds things together. Without trust a relationship will never move in a positive direction. This is probably the simplest concept to understand no matter what your level of education.           Some people meet may be very trustworthy, but because of their behavior or little quirks we are guarded about how we feel about them until we have had adequate time to get to know and understand them. Others we meet may be con artist; however, with a little time their true intentions will become apparent.

R is for RESPECT: Tell your friends and those you love how you feel now. Don’t wait until they are no longer around or when you are giving their eulogy. Be nonjudgmental about who they are and what they have done with their life, even if you don’t always agree. Knowing just one person cares can change someone from a mindset of hopelessness to one of hope and optimism, turning there life around and possibly saving their life.

Just show some respect and let others know they are important to you now because you want to, do not wait until you feel you have to.

A is for AFFECTION: Show that you care with love, a little touch, a kind word and perhaps the most important is listening to what they have to say. The willingness to sit and really listen to what someone has to say can change that person’s outlook on life.

V is for VULNERABILITY: There is risk associated with any relationship. However, there is some degree of vulnerability in any successful relationship. If you build walls around you to keep out
sadness, you will also be keeping out the joy.

E is for EMOTIONAL INTIMACY: Any relationship will be doomed to failure if the lines of communication are not kept open. No matter how painful it may be to discuss issues, if one side of the
relationship does not keep channels open it is certain to fail. Be attentive to the individual whose actions do not fit with what they are saying to you during your talks or the positive strokes they may give you that seem out of character to how they are really treating you. Everyone should be able to walk away from a talk with a more positive outlook about the relationship or at least feeling more informed.

L is for LAUGHTER: If you want to bring someone closer keep laughter alive in the relationship. How can you be upset with someone who keeps you smiling.

Perhaps my 4 year old daughter says it best…daddy I love you, you make me funny.

The next time you are down in the dumps, and frustrated over how things are going, try a little TRAVEL to bring back some life in those relationships that you cherish.

Brand Yourself as a Trendsetter

Brand Yourself as a Trendsetter

You can literally drive down the street in any town in America and see those successful businesses who became trendsetters in their niche. Some, like Starbucks, have even gone further and make it a “culture” of followers.

McDonald’s speedy food service reinvented the fast food market. Like those highly successful entrepreneurs who saw a vision and acted on it, you need to do the same in your online niche.

Looking into the future, making predictions and creating products based on your research and instinct into the future of the niche can boost your credibility and make you hot in your niche

But only if you’re willing to expose your ideas without hesitation, fail forward and take risks with your branding. Examine the needs and wants of your target audience. It’s important that you know what pleases your customers and what they long for in new products and ideas.

Keeping a close eye on what they’re saying in posts and blogs and what they’re offering on their sites can be a good way of getting the insight you need to look into the future. If they’re complaining a lot, take it and run with it – be the solution they’ve been waiting for all along.

Decide on a trendsetting product. Based on your research and instincts, create a product which is unique and one based on your customers’ ambitions and interest. Try to have an ear to the ground and do something before everyone else jumps on that bandwagon.

Then, deliver it in a way that covers all bases. Podcasts, forums, blogs, paid advertisements and launches with JVs and affiliates are all great ways to get the word out.

Update your sites and products. If you’ve been offering the same old stuff in the same old ways for too long, your sales likely show it. Take an idea someone else is doing and turn it upside down. Do it different – better.

Respond to change. You may not see it coming, but when you realize the market is changing, change with it. Not responding to change will leave you in the dust and you may never catch up.

Your business is ever-changing and evolving and keeping up with the latest trends is part of the fun and excitement of keeping it all fresh.

Don’t look at it as a chore. Welcome it as a change of pace to keep you excited about things.

Make a firm commitment to establish yourself in the niche and then set goals that will get you there.

Rising to the top of your niche and becoming a trendsetter who can see the future and help others get there is an imperative step in becoming a true authority figure in your niche.

Develop the best product and best marketing strategies out there and continue to update as the trends dictate. It’s a never-ending process.

As other marketers get bored, lazy, or sloppy – you’ll be beating them hand over fist because you have that go getter attitude that makes you hungry for success!

December 4/31 Wire

December 4/31 Wire (Photo credit: Fl??d)

Are you getting all you want out of life or do you need to make getting rid of destructive thoughts a new year resolution?

If you want to achieve your dreams and get all you want in life you have to give up negative thinking. Persistant destructive thoughts will  bring you down and make you feel insecure.

There is no real science behind this attitude of destructive thought; however, some studies reveal that optimistic people have healthier lives.

It’s normal to doubt certain areas in your life. Things don’t always pan out that way you hoped they would, and you’re bound to make mistakes along the way.

But this doesn’t necessarily mean that you always have to think of the worst outcome all the time. Many of us prepare for a bad outcome in everything we do. A better approach would be to have faith and keep believing in ourselves.

To avoid awkward circumstances, you come up with a number of excuses as to why you shouldn’t engage in a certain situation. These excuses act like your prison until you hinder yourself from fully experiencing anything that could improve your life.

You have to realize that everyone needs to try out new things for them to fully grow. Life doesn’t hand you instant happiness in a silver platter.  You have to work at it and push yourself a bit further. Instead of taking big leaps, move forward with small steps.

Another important thing you must do is to stop thinking about your recent run-in with bad luck. You think that the only way to stop disappointments is to not think about things working out. This hampers your level of excitement, and less excited people are just more likely to perform poorly.

Stop subconsciously telling yourself that you can never be happy. This is a classic case of self-fulfilling prophecy. The more you expect things to work against you, the more likely they will because your actions will likely be influenced by your negativity. Keep believing in yourself if you want to achieve your dreams.

While you work your way up the ladder of success, you are so careful not to step on anyone’s toes. While this is a very healthy attitude, you sometimes become too afraid about imposing something on someone else.

You become fearful of inconveniencing and offending others that you lock yourself in one place for too long. This might make someone else feel uncomfortable, but that isn’t reason enough for you to not go for your desires. Just remember that as long as you are not lying, cheating, breaking the law, or carelessly causing someone pain, you owe it to yourself to live your life to the fullest.

Things usually happen for a reason, so you can make fate work for you by believing that you are always given the opportunity to better your life. If you want something badly enough, the rewards of taking the chance outweigh the hindrances that come with it. You just need to keep the ball rolling until you’ll see that the world actually works for you.

This new year make it one of your resolutions to get rid of destructive thoughts and practice the art of positive thinking.


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The Art Of Anti-Negative Thinking

Cover of "The Tipping Point: How Little T...

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Learning how to stop negative thoughts takes time and practice. Since negative thinking is really a habit, the first step is catching when you’re thinking negatively to begin with. Once you start to notice your negative thoughts, you can weigh them up against the evidence in order to convince yourself that they’re not really true.

It Takes Evidence To Challenge Your Negative Thoughts

You may know by now that your negative thoughts aren’t rational at all. But no matter how much you, or others, tell yourself that fact, it’s still near impossible to stop yourself from thinking them. This is why you need to go one step further and start gathering evidence that’ll convince you that your negative thoughts aren’t true.

Step By Step Guide To Challenging Your Thoughts

Step 1 – The first step is to take a broad category of negative thought. For example, you may choose to work on your negative body image, or you could choose the thought “I am unlucky”. Whatever you do, don’t work on every single one of your negative thoughts at once. It takes time to learn how to stop negative thoughts, so work on them gradually.

Step 2 – Now that you’ve got your broad category, you can start to think about all the thoughts that come under that heading. Take the negative body image example, some of your regular thoughts may be “I can’t wear tight dresses as they show off my big butt” or “everyone pays attention to my pretty best friend and not me” or “I’ll always be alone. Nobody finds me attractive”. Make a list of these thoughts on one side of a table.

Step 3 – Now it’s time to look for the evidence to support your thoughts. On the other side of the table, write down the evidence in real life that will boost that thought. For example, for the thought  “I’ll always be alone. Nobody finds me attractive”, you might write that nobody has ever, in fact, told you that you were unattractive, and that there’s no logical reason for you to believe you’ll always be alone. Or that school bullies may have picked on you, but nobody who cares has mentioned anything. You can also write evidence such as “I personally don’t judge people solely on looks, so why would people judge me solely on looks?”

Do you understand how this is working? Writing out the evidence is forcing you to go through your life to see whether your thoughts actually come from something solid. A “feeling” that people think you’re unattractive isn’t enough. This is the place for cold, hard evidence. Sure, we’ve all had some negative comments or things that made us feel less than great. But when you start to write out the facts, you’ll probably realize that your thoughts are even more irrational than you first thought!

Now What?

You should repeat this for every kind of negative thought that you think. You may even need to repeat it a number of time for different sets of negative thoughts, as it takes a while for your emotions to catch up with your rational brain! Over time, however, you’ll find that it is possible to know how to stop negative thoughts, and that your negative thinking “habit” actually turns into far more rational thinking.



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6 Strategies For Staying Positive During Hard Times

Any person can be capable of having a positive attitude when things are going well.

The key is knowing how to stay positive when times are hard or things are not going well.

That is what determines the strength of your moral fiber.

An appropriate attitude means feeling optimistic in difficu

Reflect on your accomplishments and all the good in your life. Your alive on this planet, your health, your children and family, career and all that you already have.

The following are 6 Strategies for staying positive and maintaining a winning attitude:

1. Show Enthusiasm- look and sound excited about life and what you are doing. Openly displaying how enthusiastic you are about the passions in your life can be infectious.

2. Look Like A Winner –  keep your head up and walk the walk, dress the part, a firm handshake that shows you are glad to be alive and happy to meet that person. Smile and telling others hello can be infectious. It is almost impossible to feel down when you are making others feel good.

3. Make Others Feel Good – no one ever made a friend or accomplished something meaningful by dwelling on the bad things in life. Sharing positive news promotes positive feelings. Listening to what someone else has to say, with sincere interest, can change that person’s life.  Make it your goal to make everyone you meet feel better about themselves and the world around them.

4. See Yourself Winning – all peak performers visualize success.  Olympians see themselves winning even before the competition begins.

5. Positive Self Talk- What did you say to yourself today? Did you moan and groan about everyone. What we think is 100% reflected in how we feel. If all we think about is negative thoughts, our actions will be negative.

6. Love Others – Bring encouragement, optimism, and hope to all that you meet. Help others feel comfortable in your presence. Spread joy and goodwill. Be concerned about the wishes and desires of others. Be understanding, caring, accepting, and forgiving. Become more concerned about helping others achieve their individual desires.

Continuously reflecting on where you have been and the steps you have taken to get there can be invaluable when something in your life is not going as well as you had planned.

Do not just think about your successes, actually write them down and what it took to achieve that success including any stepping stones along the way and how you overcame those roadblocks.

It can be difficult to think straight and recall all the positive things that have happened in your life when you are struggling daily for money to pay the bills, feed your family, pay the mortgage  and many others.

A simple solution to the problem  may be right in front of you, but the current stressors in your life are preventing you from seeing the answer.

If you are stumped with finding a solution or at your wits end it is time to get up and change your environment. It may seem like the part of your brain involved in decision making and finding solutions is spinning in a never ending loop allowing you to only think about one thing, the problems in your life.

Dwelling on issues in the same place, around the same people can create that loop or mental wall. Getting up and taking a walk, going for a run, working out, reading something inspirational, meditation or just driving down the road changes the environment and will help remove those mental roadblocks.

Relaxing physically and mentally can help remove those roadblocks and allow you to see potential solutions from a different perspective.

Creating a team can help lower your stress by letting others take on task freeing up your time. The team can be made up of a friend that is able and willing to look at your issues objectively and sharing their opinion.

As you get older and your life obligations increase you should pursue creating a team made up of an accountant, lawyer, and financial advisor. You may be great at handling all your daily task on your own, one at a time; however, it can become overwhelming trying to know all there is to know about everything and making the best decision for you and your family. The extra cost will pay for itself in peace of mind by using others that can look at your total picture, objectively, and help you make decisions about the future of your family, business and life.

Maintaining a positive attitude when times are hard can be one of the most difficult challenges in your life.

Constantly reflecting on your successes and how you achieved them will help keep you moving in a positive direction.


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