Winning The Race
Reverse engineering our New Year Resolutions
As the end of the year approaches, we all reflect on the past year and perhaps many of the years gone by.
We start brainstorming our goals for the upcoming year and how to continue making improvements on the previous years quest.
Most of our goals seem to revolve around having more of something that involves the money word, looking better, feeling better, and other similar versions of the aforementioned.
But,how many of us write down why we want the above…or the end product we are trying to achieve…not many I suspect…
I am sure many of you including this author have spent many of hours striving to make more money, because we think it makes us feel better…not because we are about to go hungry or can not buy clothes for our kids.
We hop out of bed and get on our way to taking action every day and there never seems to be enough time to accomplish all of our task…the weeks pass, then months, and then here we are a few weeks before the next year starts.
A friend or acquaintence may ask what your plans and goals are for the upcoming year…but do you ever remember your spouse, lover, family and children asking you how much money you want to make next year, or if you plan to add 10 more clients to your workload, so that you can buy that new house on the lake, boat or hot sports car?
If you are very success oriented you probably are keeping some type of journal to record your successes and failures and things you need to work on.
If you do, then I am sure you also keep a record of how many of your childrens programs, ballgames, and bedtime stories you missed.
Your children and others that look up to you will model your behavior. They will also remember the things you tell them and recommend that they do, even though you never thought they were listening.
You will realize that all you were trying to teach them was not in vain when you get a call or text from them telling you to get off the computer and go to bed, or to just take things one step at a time when things are not going well for you in some aspect of your life.
Yes, you were not ignored and fulfilled your role as a parent or mentor.
You will also realize the impact you have had when they tell you they can not be there for some event or the holidays, because they have to work or they have made plans to go to the islands or whereever the deepest powder is located at that time of year.
Afterall, they are just demonstrating the discipline and motivation you instilled in them to try and make something of themselves and always strive to be the best that they can be…
However…where you failed was in not teaching them why they should strive to be a success…afterall, you are the success expert right?
Chances are you have forgotten what success really means to you…
You stop and reflect…you start to realize despite all the money and material things you have…what is really missing.
Happiness…are you happy? The easiest way to make yourself happier is to make someone else happy.
I can confidently say that the person lying in a hospital bed with an acute or chronic or possible lethal diagnosis does not care how big your house is or what new car you are driving. They may be overwhelmed with family at their bedside or may appear to be abandoned with no one coming around to see them.
If you want to see magic working just tell someone hello or even better yet, just sit down for a bit and listen with empathy…I guarantee you they will be smiling inside when you leave.
Me time…when is the last time you just spent some time alone doing what you wanted to do, that did not involve working. Take time for yourself to engage in whatever you have a passion for…you will find you are happier and with happiness comes better health, better relationships, less stress and clearer focus on your priorities.
Give a piece of your time…has your favorite words become “not now” or “i will do it later”
when your children as you to play or read a book. Did you forget to pencil them into your daily planner. You may think well I am busy and we will have more time to spend together when I have completed this job or when I get a boost in my salary. However, you are teaching your children the power of working hard to get somewhere in their life when they grow up…what more could they ask for.
They want and need your time…even if it is only five minutes of your busy day. Try it and see how much more content they seem after you have read to them, walked around the yard with them, or played catch. Children do not need the latest craze in toys or expensive trips to the other side of the world… they need your attention,
for you to listen, and to notice that they are a part of your world.
We all want love…everyone wants to be loved by someone…someone to share experiences with, laugh with, fall back on when times are hard, for passion, and to let you know you are significant. We all spend, so much time and energy trying to find that individual and when we do it is not long before the new has worn off and we are looking for the next best model or something different. We forget about the things that brought us together with the other person in the first place. Most of us try to get to know someone before allowing ourselves to get to personal or commit to deeper acts involved in relationships. If you are busy taking action to achieve your ambitions in life and never mentally available to the ones you love, then you are essentially a stranger in your own home. Think about the repercussions for minute and the meaning of this should be obvious…
When you are making out your ressolutions for the upcoming year…try doing it a little different than in the past…try reverse engineering your goals and making the reasons for success your top priority on your daily to do list.
Make time each day for yourself, to listen, to play, to influence a child, to do something you find passionate, spend time with the one you love, communicate with your family…These things should be on your priority list…
That way when 20 years have gone by and you are driving your new Mercedes to the islands for a week long ski trip you will not suffer an episode of enlightment when your son or daughter text you to tell you they how sorry they were for missing you when they were in town……sometimes to win the race you have to slow down.