We live in a society that’s been curated to look perfect at all times. So, when you’re having a hard day and scrolling on social media, it can seem like everyone else has it together except you. Of course, that’s a huge myth! Nothing on social media is an accurate reflection of life and the reality is that everyone you know is fighting some sort of battle they’re keeping to themselves. This includes resilient people. However, they handle these tough days differently.

Like learning karate or how to play a guitar, becoming resilient – especially on hard days – takes some time and practice. However, it is doable. If you are struggling now and want to become more resilient moving forward, take some tips from what the most resilient people do when facing challenges. They may just help you, too.

They Find a Support System and Stay Connected

When we’re feeling stressed or grieving, it’s easy to fall into this notion that no one understands us. And while not everyone may be able to empathize with your specific plight, you’ll find that most people actually do sympathize with you. It’s this information that resilient people accept and utilize.

Resilient people often don’t become resilient by themselves, but rather through a support network. By sharing their story and taking in others, they realize that their feelings aren’t isolated. In doing so, they realize that they aren’t alone, and it makes their problems easier to tackle.

This support network can include co-workers, friends, relatives, and support group peers.

They Focus on What’s Within Their Control, Not Outside of It

In life, there are some things we can control and some things we can’t, and no one understands this better than resilient people.

Understanding that something is out of your control – like the loss of a loved one, getting laid off from work, or having a tree fall over on your car during a severe thunderstorm – doesn’t mean that you don’t care about the situation; you do. However, it means that you’re also not going to put yourself through misery twice or worry unnecessarily.

For example, if a tree falls on your car, what good does continuing to vent your anger about it do for you? Nothing except keeping you in a stressful state of mind.

Likewise, if you are awaiting test results, spending a weekend worrying until they come in takes away the joy of the present moment. You won’t be able to change those results anyway, so worrying gives you a false sense of control.

It sounds harsh, but the most resilient people focus on what they can control and accept what they can’t, regardless of how uncomfortable it is. Per VeryWellMind, letting go of the notion of control and instead opting for a go-with-the-flow mindset “…means that however life unravels, you’ll be OK, rather than hinging your sense of OK-ness on specific outcomes that may be beyond your control.”

They Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about taking the time to think about what you do, how you feel when you hang out with certain people or perform certain tasks, and how you spend your time.

In order to be resilient, you must accept your feelings and live authentically, which is how these two go hand in hand. The more you pay attention to what makes you tick and likewise, brings you joy, the better decisions you’ll make.

For example, through the practice of mindfulness, resilient people are able to turn their attention to small acts that bring them joy, such as a warm cup of coffee in the morning or a filling breakfast. When you can focus on the joy and the positive side of life, it makes it easier to get through the dark days.

Mindfulness is an important tool in the resilient person’s toolkit.

They Find Purpose

Another trait of resilient people, especially when facing hard days, is that they find and lead with purpose. Purpose is what drives us forward. It’s like being connected to a dream – an end goal.

On tough days, resilient people find comfort in their purpose and don’t lose sight of it in the face of failure or disappointment because that purpose is what helps give their life meaning.

This could be anything from raising a family to getting involved in community change and social justice, charitable initiatives, or pursuing an artistic passion.

They Make Time for Self-Care

Resilient people know when it’s time to take a break. As such, they have no problem making time for self-care. While this could include simple acts such as taking a bath or going out for a jog on a warm, summer day, it also includes knowing when to delegate, say no, and put up a boundary that protects their mental health.

Doing these things is especially crucial, on hard days, because that’s when you need to take a step back and take care of yourself the most. Resilient people don’t treat rest as a reward, but rather as a necessary step to getting through tough times.

If you want to become more resilient, the bottom line is that you have to identify what’s important to you and when it’s time to take a step back and unwind. With practice, taking care of yourself will become second nature and over time, you’ll see your resilience to stressful stimuli decrease. We hope you found this guide helpful!